{"id":3861,"date":"2019-02-18T17:06:14","date_gmt":"2019-02-18T17:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/?p=3861"},"modified":"2019-02-19T16:47:32","modified_gmt":"2019-02-19T16:47:32","slug":"how-set-own-standards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/how-set-own-standards\/","title":{"rendered":"Standards? Set Your Own, Mate!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/standards.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3862\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/standards.jpg\" alt=\"Set the standards\" width=\"1000\" height=\"674\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/standards.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/standards-300x202.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/standards-768x518.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Prefer to listen?<\/strong><br \/>\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\/embed\/episodes\/Standard--Set-Your-Own--Mate-e38emc\" width=\"400px\" height=\"102px\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nListen &amp; Subscribe in <a href=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Anchor<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/davidwithington-com\/id1365119702\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">iTunes<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3pqSjKsATP4eFOf04u5zvN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Spotify<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Suddenly, I found myself put on the spot!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">You see, a few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">We\u2019ll call him Mark.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">My friend, Mark, was expressing his concern about how he felt standards had changed over the years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">In particular, he was concerned about the increased use of bad language.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">He\u2019d noticed it in the workplace.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And he\u2019d observed a trend among young people.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3864\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3864\" style=\"width: 700px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/swearing.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3864\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/swearing.jpg\" alt=\"Mark had noticed an increase in swearing\" width=\"700\" height=\"515\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/swearing.jpg 700w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/swearing-300x221.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3864\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Mark had noticed an increase in swearing<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cI would never have dreamt of saying those words to my parents,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it seems to be the normal now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Mark thought for a moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cSometimes I feel so uncomfortable at work. It\u2019s F-ing this, and it\u2019s F-ing that\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">He vented his disappointment. And then he turned to me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cWhat do you think, David?\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Isn\u2019t it great when you\u2019re put on the spot?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And you have a mere few seconds to think up some pearls of wisdom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Well, thankfully, that week I\u2019d been listening to a podcast which had left an impression on me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I shared someone else\u2019s pearls of wisdom.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">My Swearing Friends<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Isn\u2019t it great to have friends?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I\u2019m fortunate to have some great circles of friends.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Some of my friends don\u2019t swear. Others do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Do I treat them differently?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Do I judge them differently?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I like my friends because of who they are.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3866\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3866\" style=\"width: 700px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Circle-of-friends.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3866\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Circle-of-friends.jpg\" alt=\"I have a great circle of friends\" width=\"700\" height=\"470\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Circle-of-friends.jpg 700w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Circle-of-friends-300x201.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3866\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I have some amazing friends<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Some friends are funny, some are caring, some are smart, some are introverts, some are extroverts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Some have similar Christian beliefs to me. Some follow other faiths. Others have no faith at all. In fact, I have fun telling the atheists that I don\u2019t believe in atheism!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Some swear as part of their everyday language; some don\u2019t swear at all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But the friends in my circles are genuinely nice people. That\u2019s why they\u2019re in there.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Getting Uncomfortable?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Sometimes, I wish my swearing friends didn\u2019t swear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But I still accept them as friends &#8211; even though they swear and I don\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I don\u2019t challenge them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Well, I have done occasionally when children have been present &#8211; but that\u2019s for a different reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But the interesting thing is this\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Once or twice, when a friend or colleague has resorted to foul language during a conversation, he has apologised immediately.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I hadn\u2019t asked him to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I hadn\u2019t given him that <em>don\u2019t-say-that<\/em> kind of look.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I hadn\u2019t ever said, \u201chey look, just so you know\u2026 I don\u2019t swear.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So why did he choose to apologise without any prompt at all?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">\u201cWhat Do You Think, David?\u201d<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Mark was patiently waiting for an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cHere\u2019s something that I heard recently which made me think&#8230;\u201d I said to him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cSet the standard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Mark gave me that <em>please continue<\/em>\u00a0sort of look.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cIn other words&#8230; <em>don\u2019t<\/em> try to <em>change<\/em> what people do,\u201d I said. \u201cYou\u2019ll never change them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cInstead, you set the new standard.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3870\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3870\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Setting-the-standard.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3870\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Setting-the-standard.jpg\" alt=\"Set the standard you want to see\" width=\"800\" height=\"560\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Setting-the-standard.jpg 800w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Setting-the-standard-300x210.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Setting-the-standard-768x538.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3870\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Set the new standard<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cYou <em>be<\/em> the standard you want to see.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Mark thought for a few moments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">\u201cHow wise,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">At that moment I was really glad I\u2019d heard that pearl of wisdom on the podcast.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But then I wished I\u2019d thought of it. A Withington original &#8211; that would have been pretty cool to claim credit for, eh?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">WWJD<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Sometimes I wonder what my hero, Jesus, would do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">From what I\u2019ve read about the people he met, I bet Jesus heard a few of the expletives of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">You see, Jesus loved real people from all walks of life. They\u2019re the sort he wanted to help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I can imagine some of those people came with all sorts of baggage and colourful language.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I reckon swearing was normal to many of them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Did he ever give up on them?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Nope.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But after they\u2019d met Jesus, many of them did leave differently.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Set the Standard<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So here&#8217;s how I see it&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I&#8217;ve used an example of a chat with my friend, Mark, about his observations of swearing. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But &#8211; whatever sort of thing it is that <em>you<\/em> want to change&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Maybe it&#8217;s&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Language<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Climate change<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Corruption<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Love<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Hope<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">In the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">&#8220;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&#8221;<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3868\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3868\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Be-the-change-you-wish-to-see-in-the-world-Quote.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3868\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Be-the-change-you-wish-to-see-in-the-world-Quote.jpg\" alt=\"Be the change you wish to see in the world\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Be-the-change-you-wish-to-see-in-the-world-Quote.jpg 800w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Be-the-change-you-wish-to-see-in-the-world-Quote-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Be-the-change-you-wish-to-see-in-the-world-Quote-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3868\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Be the change you wish to see in the world<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So let&#8217;s<em> be<\/em> the difference.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Be<\/em> the leader.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Set<\/em> the standard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\"><strong><em>Be<\/em> the change<\/strong> that you want to see in <em>your<\/em> world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Now listen to it on the podcast&#8230;<\/strong><br \/>\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\/embed\/episodes\/Standard--Set-Your-Own--Mate-e38emc\" width=\"400px\" height=\"102px\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nListen &amp; Subscribe in <a href=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Anchor<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/davidwithington-com\/id1365119702\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">iTunes<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3pqSjKsATP4eFOf04u5zvN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Spotify<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Prefer to listen? Listen &amp; Subscribe in Anchor or iTunes or Spotify Suddenly, I found myself put on the spot! You see, a few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend. We\u2019ll call him Mark. My friend, Mark, was expressing his concern about how he felt standards had changed over the years. In particular, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3862,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[99,3,289],"tags":[388,390,387,386,385,389],"class_list":{"0":"post-3861","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-how-to","8":"category-real-life","9":"category-stories","10":"tag-change","11":"tag-language","12":"tag-leader","13":"tag-leadership","14":"tag-standard","15":"tag-swearing","16":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Standards? 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