{"id":3126,"date":"2018-10-02T15:29:52","date_gmt":"2018-10-02T14:29:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/?p=3126"},"modified":"2019-04-18T18:26:06","modified_gmt":"2019-04-18T17:26:06","slug":"fruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/fruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech\/","title":{"rendered":"The Fruit Of The Earth Political Party Manifesto Speech"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3156\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280.jpg\" alt=\"Fruit of the Earth Political Party\" width=\"1280\" height=\"850\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280-768x510.jpg 768w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/basket-1330087_1280-1024x680.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Prefer to listen?<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\/embed\/episodes\/The-Fruit-Of-The-Earth-Political-Party-Manifesto-Speech-e2aujh\" width=\"400px\" height=\"102px\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nListen &amp; Subscribe in <a href=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Anchor<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/davidwithington-com\/id1365119702\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">iTunes<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3pqSjKsATP4eFOf04u5zvN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Spotify<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Friends, Romans, Countrymen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Lend me your ears.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I promise to return them later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">You see&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I need to write a <strong>manifesto<\/strong> for our <em>Fruit Of The Earth<\/em> Political Party.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3174\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3174\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/deceive-1299043_640.png\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3174\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/deceive-1299043_640.png\" alt=\"I need to write a clever manifesto\" width=\"640\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/deceive-1299043_640.png 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/deceive-1299043_640-300x150.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3174\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I need to write a clever manifesto<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And I need to ensure I get an <em>&#8216;ear &#8216;ear<\/em> when I read it out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">If I may begin&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I\u2019d like to base our policy on The Benefits of Eating Fruit.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3138\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3138\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fork-3463170_640.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3138\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fork-3463170_640.jpg\" alt=\"The benefits of eating fruit\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fork-3463170_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fork-3463170_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3138\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The benefits of eating fruit<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I&#8217;m looking for a fruitful discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">To quote the words of Sir Winston Churchill&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">&#8220;We shall fight on the PEACHES.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3139\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3139\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/peaches-379893_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3139\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/peaches-379893_640.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;We shall fight on the peaches&quot;\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/peaches-379893_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/peaches-379893_640-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3139\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;We shall fight on the peaches&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I&#8217;m sure he had a little help from Clementine, of course.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But if Mr Churchill could use fruit to win a war, so can we.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">We just need the determination.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Let me remind you that &#8220;an apple a day keeps the doctor away.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But only if you throw it hard enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3140\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3140\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-2391_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3140\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-2391_640.jpg\" alt=\"An apple a day...\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-2391_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-2391_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3140\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">An apple a day&#8230;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Throughout the ages, fruit has been responsible for maintaining a healthy animal kingdom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Indeed, didn\u2019t the animals enter the ark in pears?<\/span><\/p>\n<span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=Enjoy%20puns%20about%20fruit%3F%20You%27ll%20love%20this%20political%20satire.%20%23puns%20%23funny%20%23politics%20%23satire&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Enjoy puns about fruit? You&#039;ll love this political satire. #puns #funny #politics #satire <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=Enjoy%20puns%20about%20fruit%3F%20You%27ll%20love%20this%20political%20satire.%20%23puns%20%23funny%20%23politics%20%23satire&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Fruitful Politicians<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But back to currant times (see what I did there?)&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I\u2019m looking to a date in the future (I think I\u2019m wasted here).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">A date when politicians no longer rule the earth and fill their plum bank accounts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/plums.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3143\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/plums.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"487\" height=\"405\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/plums.jpg 487w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/plums-300x249.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 487px) 100vw, 487px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">The thing is&#8230; can you trust a politician?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">You\u2019ve heard the beatitude, &#8220;Blessed are the politicians for they shall promise the earth&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Blessed are the politicians for they shall promise the earth.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">They pretend to be the fruit of the earth.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3159\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3159\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-1475977_640.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3159\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-1475977_640.png\" alt=\"Politicians pretend to be the fruit of the earth\" width=\"500\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-1475977_640.png 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/apple-1475977_640-300x265.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3159\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Politicians pretend to be the fruit of the earth<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But will they BEETROOT to you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Most of them can\u2019t ORANGE a certain event in a brewery.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I ain\u2019t going bananas about them.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3145\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3145\" style=\"width: 550px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/beet-545775_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3145\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/beet-545775_640.jpg\" alt=\"Will you beetroot to me?\" width=\"550\" height=\"366\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/beet-545775_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/beet-545775_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 550px) 100vw, 550px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3145\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Will they beetroot to you?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Sometimes, you can get a decent politician, though.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Granted, they are one in a MELON.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But if you do find one, please tell me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">I\u2019ll be ever so GRAPE-full.<\/span><\/p>\n<span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=How%20do%20you%20make%20fun%20of%20politics%3F%20Here%27s%20how...%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%23puns%20%23jokes%20%23funny%20%23politics%20%23satire&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">How do you make fun of politics? Here&#039;s how...                  #puns #jokes #funny #politics #satire <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=How%20do%20you%20make%20fun%20of%20politics%3F%20Here%27s%20how...%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%23puns%20%23jokes%20%23funny%20%23politics%20%23satire&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3144\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3144\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/grapes-1442943_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3144\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/grapes-1442943_640.jpg\" alt=\"I'll be grape-ful\" width=\"640\" height=\"462\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/grapes-1442943_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/grapes-1442943_640-300x217.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3144\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I&#8217;ll be grape-full<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Our Fruiture<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Now I want to make sure people will fall in love with our party.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I have to make it a-PEEL-ing to folks all around the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">From the PEAR-sians in Iran&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">To the JUICE in Israel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And the Chinese who speak Mandarin.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3147\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3147\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/friends-3282427_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3147\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/friends-3282427_640.jpg\" alt=\"Let's speak Mandarin\" width=\"640\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/friends-3282427_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/friends-3282427_640-300x207.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3147\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Let&#8217;s speak Mandarin<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Let me encourage you to go into action&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Yeah! Go, MANGO.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Ban Political Jokes<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Now before I continue, let me say that I don&#8217;t like political jokes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Because they tend to get elected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But here&#8217;s just one political joke&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">What do you call a Russian procrastinator?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Putinoff.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Breaking the Rules<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">As a child, I was always told to respect my Elderberries.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But you have to draw the LIME somewhere.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Now I&#8217;m older, the time is RIPE for me to blow raspberries in response to those who blueberries.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">In fact, I think there&#8217;s even an app on my Apple phone which will do that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And we certainly need to,\u00a0because, let&#8217;s admit it&#8230; it&#8217;s all gone pear-shaped.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3149\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3149\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/lime-3480609_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3149\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/lime-3480609_640.jpg\" alt=\"You have to draw a lime\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/lime-3480609_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/lime-3480609_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3149\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">You have to draw a lime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Brexit<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Now we have the br-EGGS-it (yes, I know an egg isn&#8217;t a fruit &#8211; but it&#8217;s getting to the hen d&#8217;of this manifesto and I&#8217;m running out of puns).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">They say this Brexit thingy is all cut and dried.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And I don&#8217;t want to be a prune.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">But it&#8217;s a quince in a lifetime event.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So I think we should cool it a bit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And maybe sing &#8220;I only have ICE for EU&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3151\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3151\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/adventure-1850094_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3151\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/adventure-1850094_640.jpg\" alt=\"I only have ice for you - The Brr...exit Song\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/adventure-1850094_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/adventure-1850094_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3151\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;I only have ice for you&#8221; &#8211; The Brr&#8230;exit song<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Join Us<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">So let me conclude by returning your ears.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And asking my New Zealand friend, Olive, (she&#8217;s a Kiwi), and the old Cockney lady, Sheila, who emigrated to Australia (she&#8217;s a Pommie Granny, init?), to\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">raise a glass and drink to the success of:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">The Fruit Of The Earth Political Party.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">Don&#8217;t vegetate. Sign up and join us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">We&#8217;re ready to serve you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">In fact, we&#8217;re ready to serve you 5 portions every day!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">And once you get to know us, you&#8217;ll join the millions of other supporters who tell us&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">&#8220;I love you from my head tomatoes.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I love you from my head tomatoes!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3165\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3165\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/tomatoes-1280859_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3165\" src=\"http:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/tomatoes-1280859_640.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;I love you from my head to my toes.&quot;\" width=\"640\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/tomatoes-1280859_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/davidwithington.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/tomatoes-1280859_640-300x197.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3165\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;I love you from my head to my toes.&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;\">And now have a listen&#8230;<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\/embed\/episodes\/The-Fruit-Of-The-Earth-Political-Party-Manifesto-Speech-e2aujh\" width=\"400px\" height=\"102px\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nListen &amp; Subscribe in <a href=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/davidwithington\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Anchor<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/davidwithington-com\/id1365119702\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">iTunes<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3pqSjKsATP4eFOf04u5zvN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Spotify<\/a><\/p>\n<span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=Enjoy%20a%20few%20puns%20at%20the%20expense%20of%20politicians.%20%23puns%20%23jokes%20%23satire%20%23politics%20&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Enjoy a few puns at the expense of politicians. #puns #jokes #satire #politics  <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdavidwithington.com%2Ffruit-of-earth-political-party-manifesto-speech%2F&#038;text=Enjoy%20a%20few%20puns%20at%20the%20expense%20of%20politicians.%20%23puns%20%23jokes%20%23satire%20%23politics%20&#038;via=thabacus&#038;related=thabacus' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><strong>Watch the video version<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_nvi2SnrK-k?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Prefer to listen? Listen &amp; Subscribe in Anchor or iTunes or Spotify Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Lend me your ears. I promise to return them later. You see&#8230; I need to write a manifesto for our Fruit Of The Earth Political Party. And I need to ensure I get an &#8216;ear &#8216;ear when I read it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3162,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[206,3,289],"tags":[358,357,353,294,356,197,354,359],"class_list":{"0":"post-3126","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-business","8":"category-real-life","9":"category-stories","10":"tag-earth","11":"tag-fruit","12":"tag-jokes","13":"tag-party","14":"tag-political","15":"tag-politics","16":"tag-puns","17":"tag-vegetables","18":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Fruit Of The Earth Political Party Manifesto Speech - David Withington<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fed up of politics? 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